KINDERGARTEN

I need to take a deep breath. In and Out. Ok.

Emmy has started Kindergarten.

More deep breaths.

I cannot believe the time has come. My heart feels very torn as one part of me is elated to send Emmy off on this new adventure, and the other part screams for time to stop and desperately wants to keep her close forever. This sending business is not easy. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's take it one step at a time.

The week before school started we went to Emmy's new school Summit Elementary to meet her new teacher. We found out she was going to be a part of a new dual-language program for Spanish with a brand new teacher, Mrs. Cooper. Emmy was really excited as she walked into her classroom, armed with some Cowboy cookies and a really sweet smile.

 We walked around the rest of the school, but of course the favorite was the library where a giant stuffed Clifford dog lives, complete with an oversized dog house.

 After Meet the Teacher Night, I must admit my heart was low. I had numerous fears and questions swirling around in my head: Will this new teacher be effective? Will the dual-language component be too much of a distraction and inhibit E learning her foundation knowledge? Will she have any friends to relate with or will the majority Spanish speakers leave her out? Did we make a bad decision even putting her in public school? On and on the list goes, so needless to say I was a bit of a wreck internally. Luckily we had the weekend to relax and prepare for the coming week.

 

A few highlights: awaiting the appearance of the elusive "Carlos Monster" who lives under the stairs at the Mezger abode. The kiddos decided some head gear was in order as scary music drifted out of the hallway.

Summoning up the courage to approach the Monster's lair.

 When the Carlos Monster did emerge there were tons of shrieks and much gnashing of teeth! Joel said he thought Carlos looked like a giant cucumber.

Carlos was an incredible sport and played this game for half an hour. He would run out of his room, sending the kids running like wild animals. So much fun.

 

Second highlight: we took the kiddos to the circus!

Who doesn't love The Barnum and Bailey circus?

 Finally the day was upon us.

There is literally not one normal picture of Boone. That kid is such a character!

 

 We all walked Emmy into her classroom and gave big hugs before quickly making our way out.

 As I walked out the door my heart was warmed to see this happening on the rug.

At this point I needed to leave right away as my eyes were filling and my throat got very tight. Luckily my friend Holly was there to give me a hug and lots of encouragement. When we got back home and Boone was finishing his breakfast, he looked over at Emmy's chair at the table and quietly said, "I miss her." Oh my. Me too buddy.

The rest of the day was a bit of a blur and there really wasn't a minute that went by where I was not thinking about what Emmy was doing. I had an ache, really. My eyes felt puffy all day, as if I could burst into tears at any given moment. Even now, a week later I can feel the welling. And I've realized now what's going on.

I'm not so much worried that we made the wrong decision in schools: there are so many fun things I have seen that are confirmations we are in the right place. And I know Mrs. Cooper is going to be an incredible teacher and that I can encourage her and support her in so many ways. The ache comes from that vulnerable place that simply doesn't want to let go. Doesn't want to send off. I want to scoop up my little chicks and keep them under my wing for...well...ever. But God has not called me to that as a Mama. I am to let go of that illusion of safety and embrace the calling to feed my children with God's word and entrust them to Him ultimately. I am to daily take up my cross and follow Jesus into the uncomfortable places of change. I am to pursue and love the people He has put in my life. As believers in a public school I know we will encounter things that make my skin crawl and will have conversations I may not feel ready to have. I think that would happen in any school setting. But I am trusting that God would not have called us to this place without His awesome hand of protection over our family. I am also convinced that we will see fruit from our efforts to be a light in a place where Jesus' name is not necessarily lifted high. I finally do really and truly believe that there is not one right way to educate and raise up children in this age. I am so encouraged by friends who have put their kiddos in private schools, hybrid homeschooling, and full on homeschooling. I see the incredible benefits of each one. And I'm thankful we are all on mission no matter where we are. On mission to raise up a generation of Christ followers who are authentic.

 

So congratulations Emmy on your first week of Kindergarten! I am so proud of who you are becoming. You are bold, energetic, smart and ready to make friends wherever you are. You are a leader and a born teacher! Mrs. Cooper told me today at pick-up that she noticed you had finished your work at one point in the day, so she tasked you with teaching some of the other kids how to sort objects. She said you were incredibly eloquent and taught the lesson better than she would have! How fun that your gifts are already becoming apparent. I am humbled by the task of leading you and excited by the things God is going to do in you and through you. I am also proud of the way you internalize our devotionals and apply the lessons Jesus taught so many years ago to your everyday life. You complained about a boy being a bit of a bully to you and we talked about ways you could love on him instead of being angry and holding a grudge. I wasn't sure you took any of that to heart, until we were at the pool and you noticed some "mean boys" we have had some issues with before. You told me you were going to ask them if they wanted to play with you since they probably just needed some extra love. Emmy, you are a gift. I love you oodles and even though the ache is unbearable at times, I am so blessed to be your mama.